I know what you’re thinking. It’s bearing down on you hard, isn’t it? This upcoming holiday for celebrating dads. You’re desperately trying to avoid thinking about it. Maybe you never had one. Maybe the one you had wasn’t around. And maybe when he was, you were worse off than when he was gone. Maybe your dad did awful, unspeakable things to you. Maybe he lied to you over and over and hurt you physically and mentally. And maybe he never provided for you the basic things a child needs: Safety. Comfort. Peace. Provision. If you’ve ever lived in a house full of anger or abuse or neglect- built on a wobbly axis, threatening to tip at any moment, scared to even speak lest you disturb the balance of one person, spinning out of control- you know. You know how the actions of the one to whom you are supposed to look for guidance can completely mold you- harden you, or leave you shattered and destroyed. Leave your heart hurting. Leave your hands trembling, reaching upward, wanting. Leave your eyes darting, waiting for the next attack, potential assailants lurking in every corner of your life. When will the bottom drop out? When will the sky fall? Some of us respond in anger. Some of us responded by plunging headlong into romance after romance, seeking to fill the void. Some of us responded by participating in destructive behaviors- drugs, alcohol, food- in order to numb the pain. And some of us have tried over and over to pull ourselves out of the void and use it to create our own way. Always the burden remains. Always rooted in fear.
How can you trust when the one who was meant to call you his own left you trembling, gasping, flailing? Listen to me, friend: There is one who calls you daughter. He calls you beloved. He fights for your heart daily. He longs to hear you call him ‘Father.’ He never tells you he’ll be there, and then leaves you waiting. He never promises provision without providing. He never leaves you in the middle of the night. He never hurts you. His love is not dependent upon your actions or deeds. You can never make Him love you less. You cannot earn his love. You don’t need to. He never chooses another over you. He never lies to you. He is not your dad. He is not your dad. He is not your dad. Take heart, friend. Look up. Don’t hide your face. Your father is not absent. He is with you always. He has loved you always, and loves you still. Rest in Him this Father’s Day. Xo,
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AuthorMy name is Chelsea. Redeemed. Wife. Mommy. Photographer. Light Chaser. I hope you find light here too. Archives
January 2016
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