You’re too young to understand what’s happening right now- while the TV blares and the internet screams for a public judgment of a young man who made some very bad mistakes in his youth. I’m not here to talk about this young man, or his wrongdoings, but his choices have gotten me thinking about you- YOUR mistakes and the way that I want you to view them. You see, there are things in this life that are a certainty- things we cannot avoid. And mistakes are one of those things. They are inevitable due to your humanity- because of the unique way that God designed you. But there’s more: mistakes are necessary… you will learn from them and grow into a deeper understanding of yourself and God. Here are a few things I would like for you to understand about mistakes:
You will make them. For as much preparation as your father and I can offer, and no matter how much caution you take, you will misstep. You will miss. You will lose. You will fall and fail. And it will happen again and again. Expecting perfection of yourself is unrealistic, and believing yourself infallible is folly. For all your beauty, you are also a human riddled with flaws. Just like every other human. You can always come to us for help. When the time comes that you fall, and royally screw up, and it seems that nothing can be made right again, you can always come to us for help. Always. Our love is not dependent upon how many times you do things correctly. In the same way that there is nothing so awful you can do to lose the love of your Heavenly Father, your father and I could never cease to absolutely treasure you. We make mistakes too. We do. More than you can imagine, your daddy and I have made- and continue to make mistake after mistake. Our hearts aren’t always in the right place, and often times, we choose the wrong path. You must never believe that we will not understand a situation because we’ve not made mistakes, child, because believe me when I say, we’ve made our fair share and then some. We are terribly flawed and imperfect and underqualified to parent you, but we try our best every single day. And when we make a mistake that wrongs you, sweet babies, we will always- ALWAYS- admit our wrongdoing, and ask your forgiveness. Because we want you to know what it looks like to mess up, and be humbled enough to ask forgiveness, and move forward with grace and hope. There are consequences to your mistakes. I would be remiss if I led you to believe that everything can be undone and rectified when you make a mistake. Big or small, there are always consequences to your actions. Every choice you make affects others, and mistakes can often lead to a chain reaction of negativity. Maybe you’ll lose a friend. Maybe you’ll lose a limb. Maybe you’ll just come in past curfew and get grounded. Either way, you cannot expect to run through this life destroying things around you without some sort of consequence occurring. Use these consequences as a learning opportunity and accept them with humility and grace. But here’s the good news… Your mistakes do not define you. You are so smart and beautiful and wonderful. You have talents and gifts and thoughts and opinions that are uniquely yours. And when you make a mistake, it might feel like your world has begun to crumble around you. You might feel stripped bare and exposed and completely worthless. People might judge you and say things about you- true or not- that are hurtful… and you may struggle to remember who you are. Take heart, babies, in knowing that you are NOT your mistakes. They do not define you. The world does not get a say in who you are. It has already been decided by the one who knows your heart. I know this is difficult to understand right now, when the worst damage you can really do is making messes and not sharing. Someday you’ll look back and long for the days when your consequences stopped with a short time-out and a stern talk. It can be lonely in your own head, where your negative self-talk often screams louder than the quiet voice that whispers, “you can overcome this… I am using this for your good and my glory…” Find that voice and cling to it. Own your mistakes and learn from them. Hold your head high, and continue to walk forward into your destiny. I love you.
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Thanks so much for your sweet anniversary wishes! We're planning to ship our kids off to Mimi's and celebrate together this weekend! I always get questions about my wedding dress, so I thought I'd write out the story here. It's short, and sweet, and serendipitous.
Once upon a time, I was browsing a local thrift store (consignment store? I don't particularly recall). As I sifted through racks in search of bridesmaid dresses, I had no intention of finding a wedding dress- who really ever finds a good one at a thrift store anyway, right? But then I tripped and nearly fell to the floor. As I untangled the wrinkled silk fabric caught around my sandals, I realized I had just stumbled upon the most amazing dress ever. It was nothing like I thought I wanted: there was lace and sequins and embroidery a flare- all of which were things I was adamantly opposed to in a dress- and all of which were staring me in the face now, begging to be worn. And wouldn't you know, it fit like a glove! Just FIFTY bucks and a steamer later, I had a wedding dress. No alterations needed! To my husband on our eighth anniversary,
I always recall our life together in flashes of light and sound that overwhelm the senses. It doesn't look the way they always told me love would appear. Grand romantic gestures do come, but they quickly pass and what's left is the way we love in the flashes. We loved in a chorus of beautiful colors and blinding light and deafening sounds. With dark evenings sleeping beside a glowing computer, waiting for a chime to indicate your presence across the world; hours long phone calls spent holding in giggles and squeals at the sheer wonder and joy of it all- this crazy love that was blooming. Butterflies in my stomach at every word you said or sent; There was the climbing of mountains and airplanes taken back and forth across the country for what seemed like an eternity, but was only a few short months. And there was the most perfect diamond ring on my hand. All of this underlined by knowing that this… THIS… was the craziest, most insane, illogical, and risky thing either of us had ever done- A gamble with our lives- and we were helpless to stop the rushing forth into our future. So further we hurtled into the sights and sounds: we loved in white dresses and suits and ties, flowers and friends and family seated in a sunny chapel. There were endless months spent apart as you served and suffered and missed home for another eternity, and finally there was reunion. Revival. And what felt like light at the end of the tunnel. The dull brass keys to a tiny house, bathed in sunlight and dust into which we poured our hearts. And long nights spent staring at the popcorn ceiling and humming fan, praying for the child for which we longed and feared we would never hold. And the colors and sounds quieted and dimmed, and they seemed so far away… until into this world she plunged: our pink-faced girl, squawking the tiniest cries into the early afternoon hours. She shifted the light from to dim to bright, this sunshine girl. And we loved in those wee hours of holding her until she slept, sweet and silent next to our bed, smelling of Baby Magic and milk of my own making; and we loved as we navigated this new world of fluids and milestones and pink everything. When the tears flowed from exhaustion and fear and uncertainty and I thought for sure I was losing my mind, we loved. When her little head had just begun to sprout wisps of blonde fluff, the familiar pains of childbearing returned and we knew our light was shifting again- Brighter. Louder. Harder. He came after a dark night of walking dim corridors, begging for labor, and he brought with him a jumbled chorus of growls and yells and shouts that can only be attributed to his acute boy-ness. And when you told me I did a great job, and they laid him in my arms and we smiled so wide and laughed so hard at his fits, we loved. Next came a string of sleepless nights and shirts soaked in spit-up and a screaming boy who disliked very much to be parted from his momma. Blurry days and nights as our little gold-headed children tumbled out of their baby phases and into a new sense of being and doing for themselves. A new chorus of giggles and the sound of chubby little feet pounding overhead as they forge a friendship from our folly. In this big blue house, as light pours in through a hundred windows, the flashes of sight and sound continue and through all of these moments… we love. We love in hushed whispers before the sun has peeked over the horizon, a splattered mirror as we brush our teeth before bed, loads and loads of laundry done, meals prepared and uneaten, gas tanks filled and cars cleaned out; We love in hours spent away working. We love in “I’m sorrys” and “you’re rights” and toilet seats down, trash taken to the curb, and babies rocked and soothed when thunder shakes the wavy glass of this hulking blue house. We love. So here we are. Eight years since I wore the silk dress and your tie was green. Eight years since flashes of rings and speeches and toasts with sparkling grape juice. Since that humid Memorial Day wedding of ours. Eight years of flashes adding up to a lifetime of love… and a wish for as many more as my eyes and ears and heart can behold. We are in a very exciting time in our lives. Everything is new: new city, now house, new diet, new routine- new lifestyle! (more on each of those later) So it's no wonder that with all of these exterior changes, I'm seeing changes within myself as well. A desire for simplicity- for a life lived well and fully. A desire to be present and joyful; To work with my hands to create this life that we envision, and a feeling of immense gratefulness for all that we have.
So here we are. A new, blank space to share this life. I will still be updating my photography website with sessions and various informational posts regarding photography, but this... this is where I go to be free. This is the place where I will overload you with photos of our kids and our house and our life and my thoughts on everything. It's a place where I go to share light. Sometimes it's bright, and sometimes it's not. But that's the beauty of it all. So if you're a willing participant, or simply a witness, welcome! I hope you find light here too. |
AuthorMy name is Chelsea. Redeemed. Wife. Mommy. Photographer. Light Chaser. I hope you find light here too. Archives
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